On Life, and Relationships... kinda but not really lol

Soooo....

I am anxious to see what is in store for me in life. I have no idea what I want to do, but I know that what I will end up doing is already laid out for me. I would like to get a glimps in the future, will i have a $100,000 paying job (b/c thats my goal), where will I be living in likee 2 yrs, will I have kids, will i be married, what will my husband be like, have I met him, will my friends still be around, will the last year in college be a good one, will I end up joining a sorority after all, will i still watch cartoons =]

Its crazy how people don't associate me with having kids and/or being married...

How did that happen lol? I use to plan my wedding when I was little, along with honeymoons, and the kids names were already picked out. I think I got a taste of how 'not perfect' the world is... and it frightened me... 

Too love someone that much that you would like to spend the rest of your life with them is a concept that I cant seem to graps. I mean I can see how that happens, the love part, but, I think I am afraid of wanting/needing someone to be there and having that... but then the next day... they arent. MOOD KILLER. That is what freaks me out, that's why I don't want to become attached and/or use to anything, or anybody... just b/c I know that essentially they are just a varible in my life equation that can be multiplied by 0 and be out lol OR like  divided by 0 and become undefined . Tehe i have a couple of those... it's like your were helping the system but now you are just causing an error message lol... lmao

I attribute my hang up about titles to this... having a boyfriend/girlfriend title just makes ish unneccessarily personal... lol maybe not unneccessarily.... but it makes shit like... like... placing that title on someone is like handing them a New Employee's handbook.  Like it comes with a dress code and procedure for requesting time off =/, or stating that you can't go work for the competition 

Those things along with others... should be done willingly... right? 

Which brings me to another thing about titles... EXCLUSIVITY lol Isn't that like..your more than friends, but you're not committed, yet you are choosing not to 'seeing' other people.... A wise friend of mine lol stated via facebook status, that people don't want titles (how to word this) because they aren't willing to be exclusive.... or they are willing but they don't want to be held accountable for their actions if they chose to  'see' other people. I don't want to say 'accountable'... they don't want to other person to have the right to be upset. 

Girl: Oh so you were with her!

Dude: *one of those dumb looks*

Girl: I can't believe this, what do I mean to you then?

Dude: I mean... why are you getting so mad, your not technically my girlfriend

I will call Bullshit on the Play lol Yeah certain parameters go into the equation like... how long has dude/girl been kickin' it (idk the term that goes here), have exclusivity been discussed... blah blah blah.... but i would expect the chick to feel some kind of way about the situation... exspecially if exclusivity hasnt been discussed and its assumed. But its a BITCH MOVE to say 'technically your not my gf' or anything along the lines. That just belittles whatever ya'll had going on in the 1st place...

My reaction to the situation would be... 'OK...let's keep it moving'... I would then know that it's not an exclusive relationship and therefore... I am at will to do what they guy does... but better lol if i chose....

CONCLUSION is: Relationships where feelings are involved are complicated... with or without titles.  Exactly why I have avoided the shit until... ... lol