Needs serenity granted

I refuse to put myself down and in a bad mood.
Patients is a virtue.
And what is for me, it is for me.
I will not want what others have.
Its not my time...
In due time it will be
I'll continue to take my hardships in stride
B/c through the hardships, i'll appreciate the good that much more.
I'm ready when you are.
I accept that I am not in control.
I know that I have never been.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom (above all) to know the difference.

Attached to my Blackberry

I swear i am experiencing phantom notifications from my phone.

If it's in my pocket, I swear it vibrates when its on silent.

I see the little red light blinking and it's not.

I hear it transform lol and it hasnt (transformers is the sound for text msg.)

I randomly hear NFL on FOX music and i changed my ringtone (temporarily)

I hear instant messenger, facebook, and email sounds... an i received nothing...

AHHHH!!! I think I am going crazy.

Seriously, i feel like turning the darn thing off...

Even if i do that, I bet I will still hear, see, feel ish...

oh technology.... my mother thinks i am slow lol

Addicted to my Blackberry

I swear i am experiencing phantom notifications from my phone.

If it's in my pocket, I swear it vibrates when its on silent.

I see the little red light blinking and it's not.

I hear it transform lol and it hasnt (transformers is the sound for text msg.)

I randomly hear NFL on FOX music and i changed my ringtone (temporarily)

I hear instant messenger, facebook, and email sounds... an i received nothing...

AHHHH!!! I think I am going crazy.

Seriously, i feel like turning the darn thing off...

Even if i do that, I bet I will still hear, see, feel ish...

oh technology.... my mother thinks i am slow lol

listening to: Jasmine Sillivan -- Need You Bad

Moral Decisions....

So, I was offered X amount of money to be "photographed". The amount of money could pay off what little credit card debt i have. lol But also my mother could pay it off lol I could buy what ever phone I wanted with out a 2 yr contract...Might even purchase internationally. i could maybe fill my tank up more often. lol
Buy a new ipod... maybe 32 gigs. Hell i could pay for room and board lol  if i wanted to... But....
I dont want to get hooked on easy money... I could just use some right now...I really need to update my ipod
but mother can do that...But i want my own money....its justs photo's. But something is like STEPH NO! Then something is like WTH Y R U thinking about it, Decisions decisions... hell i would happily take 1/4 of the offer being made....errrr Lets see if i can get a review in for my test tmw on this topic lol

Utilitarianism-- Would suggest that I do the photo's since the outcome would have more benefits than cost. Although there aren't any immediate cost... there maybe a distant consequence that I cant foresee. But I must be a benevolent spectator and look at this from a distance and not get my personal vendetta's involved no ipod or new PDA...From that position, all things are a go.

Consequentialism-- actions are only wrong or right depending on the consequences. The consequences are kind of not there. Its like a 'If this happens then this happens' consequence. But its no guarantee that it will happen.... so it seems like a go.

According to Kantian Ethics a action is right if that same action can occur every time one is placed in that situation. Here the consequences are negligible. The money I would receive does not matter. I would not want to universalize this action. There for the photo's would be wrong. No go here.

HMMM Ross Ethics-- i think the photo's would violate a prima facie duty. Specifically the duty of self-improvement. In no shape or form is this bettering myself in respect to virtue. Then again in Ross Ethics you have an actually duty and know what your duty actually is is a problem, as seen in my situation.

Ok that's enough i am soooo bored with this ish

What I am studying for Ethics-- I'm so not liking this

Utilitarianism

• Benevolent spectator
• Principle of utility
• Instrumental vs. intrinsic goods
• Consequentialism
• Act-utilitarianism vs. rule-utilitarianism

Kantian ethics

• Categorical imperative
• Universalizability
• Heteronomy vs. Autonomy
• Perfect and imperfect duties

Ross’s ethics

• Prima facie duties
• Moral intuitionism

Rawls’ theory of justice

• Original position
• Principle of liberty
• Principle of equality

Ø  Difference principle

Ø  Principle of equality of opportunity

Natural law ethics

• Principle of double effect
• Principle of totality
• Ordinary vs. extraordinary means

Principle of nonmaleficence

• Standards of due care                               

Principle of beneficence

Principle of utility

• Cost-benefit analysis

Principle of autonomy

• Liberty-limiting principles:

Ø  harm

Ø  paternalism

Ø  legal moralism

Ø  welfare

Principle of justice

• Substantive principles of justice:

Ø  equality

Ø  need

Ø  contribution

Ø  effort

Informed consent

• Community practice standard
• Reasonable person standard
• DBP (deception to benefit the patient) vs. truth-telling

Bored as Heck

I have a night class on monday nights and i am sitting in it right now. Its 7:53pm and it ends at 8:45 and I am hungry and thinkin about leaving to go cook me some chicken alfredo with angel hair pasta. UGH. The class is personal Finance and i am soooo lost. I hate money! lol jk jk jk  I dont really care to learn about it lol.

I think if I follow all the thing my mom does I will have perfect credit too. 

 I should type my notes as a blog entry lol

Nah, I purchase the online book and it has a note feature in it.

SOOOOOO tired.....

its 8 15 pm... 30 min.

Mayb i will just eat rice and broccoli... i'll cook tmw

On that note...

I wouldnt say that I am a moraless person.

I am human therefore i have reason.

Reason to decide what is right

And what is wrong.

In class we discussed the concept of Autonomy.

We are self determining creatures.

So why is that when placed in a situation...

where there is a right an wrong path...

I frequent the wrong one.

Is it that I seek risk?

Adventure?

Going down the path that others shun?

I dont know. 

But something drives me.

Speaking on a certain topic,

or event...

or events...

I will not disclose details.

Here is how i feel.

I feel as if i should care how my actions effect those around me.

but the truth is, Stephanie does not.

I'm thinking of self.

What self wants, self gets.

*sigh*

I do stupid dumb shit

risky business 

that i know is wrong...

Yet I do it anyway.

Woe is me...

I believe in karma.

And for the actions i am/have committed, I am aware that it is wrong, and choose to deal with the consequence of my actions.

Re-evaluation

My goal... well not goal... um... limit by age 30 doesn't seem so realistic now. Sure when you think about it its sounds good and as wholesome as you can get without vowing celibacy or no pre-marital sex bullish (:-/) Considering I am over half way to my limit, and 10 yrs away from the projected conclusion of the operation, things look dim lol. That not going to work. Since the 1st 3 quarters of 2008 have proved productive, and increased my numbers threefold, I believe it is necessary to re-evaluate my initial plan accordingly. Crunching numbers I could increase the limit to 40 minus 60% of the current limit. That seems like an awfully large number. But i guess i can over project to make room for errors and environmental interference. That number is based on current data. Next yr maybe completely different. I just double the current limit. And call it a day.

61423
5 is an outlier lol
1 cannot be 3rd and since there is better (use the term loosely) 1 is by default 2.

lmfao ya'll are probably like wtf

This Narcissistic Bia lol

Yeah so i am suppose to be reading my immunology assignments for med micro BUT photobooth called my name. It took me about 500 times to coordinate this "look down... look left.... look right.... look up" joint lmao
silly me... Thats the way we became the Brady bunch...
=]

JuicyCampus.Com

yah so NCSU is now on juicy campus and so far its not too bad. Like no one has been put on blast blast blast. There was some joke...all laughs. But I remember reading UNC's a while back and i was like oh my damn, sucks for that person.
Its a topic that was just posted....about listing the girls that get around. no replies yet. But that one is putting ppl on blast. Like damn someone just had to do it lol No worries here! I am smart and strategic about mine lmao junior yr and no on campus flings...word.
We shall c... i hope ppl think before putting ppl names on the list. I am not talking sideways about no body! cuz karma will come right back around. But am i wrong for like reading the gossip? hmmmm

Thank You for Saying Something

Random Pet Peev!

I am subscribed so Soulja Boy youtube vids.... (right) and the title of the lastest vid was Free Gucci Mane.
Ok if someone is in jail they probably did something illegal right. So why are they screaming Free Gucci Mane and saying that it is ef'd up!?! They did something illegal they go to jail, that is the dogma of our society right? YOU DO THE CRIME, YOU PAY THE TIME *points finger lol*
You dont see me posting Free so and so on my blog. I know people in jail and stuff and i wish they weren't there BUT they did wrong so they have to pay the consequences. When i hear ppl say 'Free ???' I feel like they are mad at the government for punishing someone for a crime..... & thats pretty dumb dont ya think lol

Essay Written for an Application

What is your perception of the Black Women in the 21^st Century? What can you do to contribute or change the perception of the 21^st century Black Women?

Compared to previous centuries, black women today have made extensive headway in becoming major contributing forces to today’s society. My great grandmother, sole job was to cook, clean and raise children. My grandmother worked in a pillow factory. My mother works in human resources for a major banking institution. And I am pursuing a degree in Biochemistry and Microbiology. Every black women these day’s has the opportunity to better themselves in numerous ways, but the problem is, many opt not too.

Even though I am a black woman, my perception of black women has been skewed. I generalize and stereotype also and view my black female friends and colleagues as an exception to the norm. I perceive ‘other’ black women as lacking motivation to better themselves. I see them as being ignorant to their self-worth and value, and therefore allowing themselves to become the stereotype and validate societies generalizations.

I do not blame them personally for the lack of self-worth and value. I believe it has to do with a woman’s upbringing as a child. The difference between me and the next black woman is I had wonderful female role models, and it was instilled in me at a young age my self worth and value. If the support is not there from the start, who can blame a women for settling for less than they are worth?

When I say settling for less, I mean things like being satisfied with a job rather than pursuing a career or acquiring money easily while being degraded in some form or fashion. Yes, working at Macy’s is ok for a part-time temporary gig. But do you really want to remain a sales associate without any opportunity to move up in the company because you only have a high school diploma? Well, for many black women this is alright. I witnessed this working at Macy’s for a year.

I guess a major issue that influences my perception of black women is how black women are portrayed in mainly hip-hop culture. I am not going to point the finger at the hip-hop artists that exploit the women of their own race and contribute to the misogynistic views of black women.  Although they are partly to blame, the women themselves are allowing it to continue. It the lack of self-worth and the want of acquiring money quickly that drives more and more women to participate. If it continues my perception and the perception of others may never change.

What I can do to try to change the perception of black women in the 21^st century is reach out to those younger than me, and the next generation. As I stated previously, I had excellent role models in my life that greatly influence the person I am today. If I can share what I am doing with my life and my goals and aspirations with younger black ladies, I strongly believe that they will began to realize how much they are worth and began to formulate goals for themselves and not settle for less.

Today... Pause for a Second

Marks the 7th anniversary of the 9/11 terror attacks. To me it definitely does not seem like it was a whole 7 years ago. I guess that's because many of us remember exactly what you were doing and where you were when the events took place.
I was 13 years old, sitting in my 8th grade Lauguage Arts class, second row second seat.  The television was in the corner to my left. I do not remember doing any work that day in class. Every class I had following that one, the t.v. was placed on CNN. And everyone just watched. I was in my French class when the 1st building collapsed and I was like OMG WTF.
I guess the severity of the issue did not hit me until I got home and my mother was on the phone with everyone, my uncle called me and asked "do you understand what happen today?"
I have the newspaper from Sep. 12th 2001. I am saving it for my children I guess.
"Remember 9/11, Never forget" was posted everywhere! I am doing my remembering by reflecting on what I was doing at the time of the attacks. I do it every year pretty much. I try to attend a candlelight vigil if I can find somewhere close that it holding one.
No one will forget 9/11 anytime soon. I mean that fact that we call it "9/11" helps engrave it in people's memory. It can be 60 years from now and when you go to write the date on a sheet of paper, or look at the date on your phone, you will remember.
I was comparing it to Pearl Harbor, and how not many people know the date on which it happen.
"9/11" is definitely 'a day that will live in infamy.'
And I know, for myself, that the image of planes and the World Trade Centers and the Pentagon (among other things) will motivate me to get up an vote for our next President. In the last 7 years, 2 wars? have started. I don't know if its 2, I'm slighty unclear on that issue. But nonetheless, I am sooooooo soooooo soooo ready to vote in my 1st election =]

Obama '08 baby!!!

Atom Smashing in Tunnels?

Article I am writing on -- click here

So apparently, researchers are smashing protons together @ the risk of creating micro black holes. All in the name of re-creating the Big Bang Theory.
When I was reading the article, and it reminded me of Angels & Demons. And I was like damn, they are going to end the world with antimatter, and behold! a few paragraphs later, antimatter. Lordy maybe the illuminati is behind this lol if so.... hollerz @ me plz hahaha
I don't really understand the significance of smashing particles and stuff, afterall i suck at comprehending physics. Someone should put it in lay-man's terms for the common folk.

Collaborative Effort -- Blog

I receieved and invite to be apart of a group blog  called Anyone Can Post Anything...
It consist of individuals from all over the world. Pretty cool stuff I guess....
I got to think of something to write about lol
Someone posted about a Dream and another was about movie reviews.
Maybe I will re-post one of my old blogs....?
IDK hopefully something will hit me soon....
=]

PORN!!! 17th Century Style lol

Sonnet 129

 The expense of spirit in a waste of shame

Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so;
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof, and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.

Here we go! As Mentioned before

MUAHZ!!!!
All those dudes that said Wezzy is gay b/c of a lip piercing...... u seriously need to check ur insecurities with ur masculinity...thank u

Tokio Hotel

Never heard of them until tonight. And the dude with the big hair and whole goth look... looks so cool =] looks like an real anime character to me... i think its the hair. But any who I went and did some research on the band. They are frm Germany! What other top German entertainers do u know....... exactly lol And more interesting... identical twins! Here they are it took me a minute to actually see it but they werent joking when they decided they didnt want to look alike. The biography on there site describe the anime looking one as androgenous... I so dont see it but ok. Nonetheless... tats piercings big hair and dreads are cool =]

Orgasmic Information (at least for me lol)

Upon watching the VMA's on MTV tonight. During a typical panning of the audience by the camera man, LIL WAYNE (my love lol) appeared on screen AND he....has.... his.... bottom...lip... pierced. *tears of joy* That shit is sexy to me i dont care what all ya'll out there say, dudes with lip piercings r HOT. The labrets like what I wear, especially. A guy would have to have a certain shape of lip for me to go batty over with an a lip ring in....
I wish i had a pic... as soon as some site post pics from the VMA's, I will put one on here of that awesomeness lip ring.

Chea BOI!!!!

I am really loving my Intro to Shakespeare class. On Friday we discussed line by line about 4 Sonnents so cool man. With plays I can somewhat understand, but with the Poems I am at complete lost as to the topic lol Apparently, all 15o+ sonnent are ALL related. Go figure.
We had to read our 1st play over the weekend. And there is a quiz that will be given on monday about it. It was a comedy. In high school we never read a comedy, but we sure did discuss the hell out of the tragedies. Anywho, I read A Midsummer's Night Dream, in about a day or so. That is some damn determination in its finest. I thought I read Julius Caesar quick (3 days) but NOPE i really out did my self on this one tehe. I'm gunning for an A HARD.
It looks as if I will be reading a Shakespeare play every weekend. Looking at the syllabus, we discuss a new play every week and I have that class on MWF. And there is a quiz on the 1st day we discuss any play. Well at least I finished Midsummer........ so during the week I can do a refresher of Romeo And Juliet. I was 14 when I read that, I wonder if i remember all the themes and motifs lol
OMG we cover Hamlet Macbeth Othello, in a row! thats like my entire senior year right there... plus Caesar and Frankenstein lol
I'm going to be on my Shakespeare game when I get on Jeopardy lol Just let them have a Shakespeare category =]

Certain Terms & Conditions do apply

Damn I wish i would have read the small print before I signed on to bring you into my life for such a long stay. And this is only as FRIENDS. Why does it seem conditional? If ur my ace boon then be my ace boon effin aknowldege me please, all the time, not when the moon and the stars are in perfect alignment. You suck and I want out of the contract but that's kinda hard now, I had like a one year probational period and that has long past. GEEESH man go to hell (not really i love u but DAMN)

So Check it!

How unprofessional is it... ok wait let me start this off right.
I am/was apart of an organization that is just being started. It is related to pre-medicine students and being a minority in the field. iight.
How unprofessional is it to make a mandatory outing as a group to a church! I could understand if it is a religious organization BUT nonetheless, it is not. You can assume that everyone is i guess Christian b/c they are black? WRONG deary. All though I like to say that I am christian by association, since that is the way I was raised. My views as an adult  have changed and you will not catch me at church on any given sunday!
 Unless i must go... mothers orders lol I am not athiest... i REPEAT i am not atheist. I just strongly disagree with organized religion

=]

Academic Update!

Yea so I added biochem as another major as i think i have previously stated. well the system finally updated AND my major gpa for biochem as of now is a 3.67.... WHOOT WHOOT. Thats what I like to see. Meanwhile my microbio gpa is a 3.33 and overall gpa is a 3.18.... damnit to hell lol
Ya gurlie is so beasty with chems lol Its like a straight row of A-, A, A+'s then the darn B+ in biochem but that is all gravy baby lol

Yea I been up since 5am.... part 2....

I am up again. This time studying for a quiz in Shakespeare. I guess I dont mind being up right now. But yah... Genetics @ 11 20 is going to suffer lol I need to find an agent that will keep my awake. Caffeine pills knock me out...and red bull....Coffee may work BUT its to hot. I'm drinking a mountain dew in hopes of keeping me awake a while.
Tuesday I was busy! I went to a cookout for a group called Impact, its a Christian thing... tehe it was cool, I know alot of people (not ALOT but more than I expected) in it i guess. Then I was obligated to attend Women Empowering Society Together interest meeting by my roomie lol And hmph its cool, I guess i'll push out an essay fill out the application... I really was against a organization of blk women lol Maybe that is bad on my part but those particular blk women seem cool. THEN I headed to the Students for Barack Obama meeting. And boy, did the demographics surprise me lol It was maybe 4 blk ppl, by the end of the meeting. But the majority were white, and plenty of die-hard Asians- asian (lol) and Indian. And also there was a Ron Paul supporter who has decided to back Obama AND Clinton supporters, who simply stated if Obama is good enough for Hilary, he's good enough for me. WORD I love this man! We are like all united and stuff and stuff..

Yea I been up since 5am

While I was up. I decided to complete my readings for my Biomedical Ethics class that is today @ 1:30pm.
I guess this 1st part of the class we are learning the basics to the disipline of ethics. I see why I am not a philosophy major. To me it seems like these philosophers just wrote down alot of duh ish. Lol really... did we really need this stated in such a siddity manner?
First was the Principle of Utility (Utilitarianism), which is pretty much (my understanding) we make decisions based on the hope that happiness (social utility) is greater than any other decision....
Now! I just finish reading a long article on Kantian Ethics. In which I think the gist of the theory is that we make morally right decisions based on whether your thought process leading up to a decision being made can be universially applied in any similar situation. DUH! lol
Well.... according to these to theories, some of my actions are morally wrong.

Just think, if everyone thought as I do, we would all be hippies. =]

Started...

Yah so I realized I was bored, and need something to to in spare time besides blogging. SOOOOO I picked up.... Inuyasha... i think thats how u spell it. Cuz Death Note and Full Metal Alchemist definitely took up some time during the Spring semester. I decided to watch the 1st episode to see how it was AND i ended up watching 5 sooooo yah good deal i guess.